Thursday, March 21, 2013

Dredd And The Fugitive Mike

                                                                       I AM THE LAW!

When I saw the trailer and posters for Dredd last year at about this time, I couldn't wait to see it, then all of a sudden it disappeared.  I think it was in theaters for a total of 2 weeks.  Total bullshit, as it wasn't "performing" as well as the studios had hoped. so I didn't get to watch the movie in theaters.  Oh poor me. The trailers I saw showed it to be a centralized action piece with Dredd and Anderson in a huge shoot out.  Perfect popcorn movie, even if it was like the Stallone crapfest Judge Dredd.

Now, I'm a fan of movies, but it has gotten to the point in the past few years where we have just accepted the shit that we're being force fed and it's getting old.  It's been written and talked about for years and I don't need to repeat what everyone else is saying, save for the fact that the idea factory is bankrupt.  With few exceptions.  Dredd being one of them.

This movie is excellent.  Everyone plays their part well and the action is fast paced and the story is good.  It's not drawn out, it keeps you interested and doesn't throw out schlocky slapsticky comedy like the previous Dredd movie. This movie delivers on a large scale and it's pathetic that it didn't do better.

From the setup to the final pay off, this movie should have gotten more recognition than it received in theaters.  Then it came out on DVD and performed as it should have.  I'm hoping that the DVD sales results in a sequel.

I guess what I'm getting at is this -
The studio system is just pounding us with reboots and remakes and little in the way of original movies.  We all know that "it's been done before" but stories are out there to be told.  I don't need to see another Spiderman origin story or Batman or whatever else is available out there for reboots (there are tons of them, I'm too lazy to research them right now...) or remakes.  I would like to see modern day updates to tons of movies - Bullit, The Detective (which is technically the first "Die Hard" story) Saturn 5 or even Arsenic and Old Lace.  It would be cool to see takes on those types of movies. How about an update on Smokey and the Bandit? But who would play Big Enos and Little Enos?

With the way that everything is established, studios go for the easy pay off.and little risk. It's a problem with the system in and of itself - independent movies are locked out where they could find an audience, good movies aren't given enough life in the theaters to build an audience and bad movies continually make money (Scary Movie 4/5, Epic Movie anyone).  I don't know if we're conditioned just to accept this stuff and laugh at the lame jokes or if we're so starved for something good we're willing to sit through the crap for the nuggets of gold.  I think it's the latter.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Jack The Giant Slayer



The prevailing thought throughout a lot of Hollywood is the idea that the common person is dumb and that with movies there has to be a lot of exposition and hand holding - this, of course is for a lot of the "modern day" movies. The biggest offender's being the current crop of movies that have come out, most of which we have covered on our podcast (www.diicast.com and click on the Average Joe's link). Let's get specific on this though. Jack The Giant Slayer. The reason this movie is a fundamental failure is 2 things. The writers have taken Jack And The Beanstalk and Jack The Giant Killer and combined these movies instead of telling two distinct stories and combining them into one larger story.

To break it down even further, we all know the story of Jack And The Beanstalk, to a degree. Jack is told by his mother to go to town to sell the family cow. Jack goes to town, trades the cow for magic beans, brings them back, his mom, angry, tosses them out the window. The next day, a gigantic beanstalk has grown out of the ground, reaching towards the heavens. Jack climbs the beanstalk (after hearing tales of the golden egg and the harp) to this new land where he befriends the wife of a giant, who feeds Jack and cares for him. Becoming friends, Jack takes advantage of this, stealing gold, the hen (not goose) that lays the golden eggs, the harp and a few other things. The male giant finds out about this and chases Jack to the back to the beanstalk. Jack climbs down and chops the beanstalk down, killing the giant, living happily ever after.

Jack The Giant Killer, the story is about a person named Jack whom kills giants that live in England. It's an Arthurian legend. Jack saves one of King Arthur's retainers and is given a seat at the roundtable. Jack then proceeds to roam the countryside killing the giants, insighting a war, where the knights of the roundtable prevail.

This movie would have been better off being made into two movies, first telling the story of Jack and The Beanstalk and then The Giant Killer. The story could have started off with Jack at a young age, following the story to a T, befriending the female giant, killing the male giant and making off with the gold he steals, creating a better environment for him and his family. On top of that, he could have dropped the beans in the giants castle, thus creating a link to the second movie, where the female giant wants revenge on Jack.

Then in the second movie, Jack, now older, has gone on with his life, becoming a giant killer. No one know's exactly where they're coming from, but they are living in the land. Jack saves one of Arthur's knights or retainers (or what have you) and gains a seat on the roundtable for his actions. The female giant, finding out about Jack, through his reputation, proceeds to attack Camelot and in return, the knights defeat the giants, but not before they escape with Jack. Arthur gather's a small contingent of knights and tracks the giants to where these beanstalks are and proceed to rescue Jack, kill the giants and cut down the beanstalks.

Instead, we got a mashup of both stories, with a weak predictable plot. The best part of this movie was the "animated" beginning, done in the style of the Harry Potter Deathly Hallow's animated story, in which one of the character's in the Deathly Hallow's movie relates to Harry about the Cloak, The Wand and the Stone, all wonderfully animated. If Jack The Giant Killer had continued with their animated beginning as the basis for the story, it would have been a better movie.

I guess what I'm saying is that even though I picked Jack The Giant Slayer for this rant, lack of good story will always kill a movie and it seems that's really all we're getting now. There are hundreds of great movies, Django, The Hobbit, etc etc. But those are far and few between the schlock we're getting now. Even the new Die Hard movie was a disappointment, there are too many finger's in the cookie jar making decisions on story and direction. I'd rather have fewer movies come out during the year that are really good, than be hammered with movies that were just tossed together at the last moment and shoved down our throats.

We have The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug coming, Iron Man 3, the new Superman movie, Kick-Ass 2 and a few other's that will be good, but we also have Scary Movie, The Great Gatsby, The Croods and several other's that won't be good. The bad outweigh's the good in terms of what's coming out or are out and its a wonder that Hollywood sits there and believe's that if they increase the amount of movies that come out per year they can continue this vicious circle of making these movies on the hopes that one of them will be a massive hit at the cost of something good. That's too bad for us. But it's good for me and my movie review blog and podcast.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The official DII Cast rant blog.




It's been a couple of years since I visited this blog and was checking through it to see if it was worth keeping and I realized that, yes, it's worth keeping and mostly, this is/was the template for what has become the Podcast (www.diicast.com, heathens!) and it shall remain as the second page for our little spot on the interwebs to post rants, raves, stories, news items and all things Snooki or whoever the newest retard reality show celebrity is that comes along.

Don't be shy, come over here and let me hold you and stroke your hair while we tell you stories from our lives, sprinkled in with movie reviews and tales from our work experiences.

Resurrection - it jostles the memory of the olden days when some guy came back from the dead, before George Romero's zombie movies, and this "reborn" guy created wine from water and did all sorts of neat magic tricks and got a sweet gig in Vegas to spread his cheer and just like that guy from the olden days or John Travolta's career after Blow Out (except Battlefield Earth, Wild Hogs, Two Of A Kind, Perfect, Old Dogs, Look Who's Talking..), Stop Having A Boring Tuna returns

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Hate Filled Hate

You know, I hate a lot.

I harbor hate. I'm like one of those jelly filled donuts, but the jelly is hate.  Hate jelly.
As it is, I, the king of all things useless and of the ugly ugly pants have decreed by interwebs law that confirmations are dumb. Dumb and lame, also stupid.

Post a comment, send an email, apply for a job,  all these things want you to type in this fucking string of random numbers and letters to confirm what you just typed,  it's annoying,  I don't need to confirm what I typed, nor do I need to preview my post.  I just typed it, I know what I typed.  Maybe if there was a way to send this to someone you knew who could proofread what you typed then send it back to you.  like a proofread button or a string of questions that asks you "are you sure" until you just give up and kick a small animal in frustration.
And another thing.
WHY, why why do I have to put in my personal information just to visit a website?  Why can't I just go and look at porn in peace?  I don't want to sign up for anything, I just want to peruse the sight, if I like something, maybe I will click on it and it will bring a smile to my face.  If I want to apply for a job through a website wouldn't it be easier just to send my resume to the company from the link instead of having to go through this whole rigamoral of garbage that they believe is important.  These people are soul harvesters,  that's what they are, stealing my hate filled donut soul.

Also, while we're on the subject of teh pron, why do people pay for cartoon porn?  I don't mean like the Hentai Japanese stuff, I mean like Family Guy/Scooby-Doo/Simpsons stuff where these people draw the characters that are owned by other companies and then charge money for you to look at cartoon porn of non real people.
I mean come on - that shit is expensive.
More jelly donut filled hate to come with a tall cup of Coffee.
If I had a Hate Filled Calzone would baking it make the hate taste better?  I gotta think about that.

Friday, January 28, 2011

The kevin Smith Bloggy Thing

True independence is something that a lot of filmmakers have wanted to do, but have been so ingrained by the studio system, they become afraid to take a chance and walk away from it.  George Lucas being
one of the few that is apart from the system and love or hate what he's done, he's done it on his own terms, with his own money.  He has built an empire (no pun intended) making movies his way and then
letting the studios bid against each other for the rights to distribute the movies, to which they only get a small percentage of monies that the films make - I guess you could argue that he "WAS" a part of the studio system up until Star Wars, but that's where it stopped, he has had a long history of fighting the studio system because it's old and broken and he was tired of it.

Now we see that Kevin Smith, who has also gotten tired of the  Hollywood grind and how they want to do things their way, instead of the right way  is going back to his roots and basically telling Hollywood to fuck off, if you follow Kevin's twitter or go to his site (http://www.viewaskew.com/) and read his thoughts on the subject you could see that he is just tired of dealing with the everyday bullshit of what is essentially his
passion, it's been eating away at him since, I would assume, Zak And Miri, a movie that failed - miserably, unfortunately.  but, That's Hollywood for you and it was possibly a career ender for Kevin Smith.  But, he has more fortitude to let something like that get him down, not everything can be a success, in order to learn in life, one has to fail and it seems that not only has Kevin learned from that, but he's going to move
forward and create a system that should have been in place already and he should be applauded for that, Kevin wants us to think that he's a fat, masturbating, stoner, except, he's anything but that.
He's a smart man who has surrounded himself with successful people that have shown him how to get the most out of his career so far and while he doesn't have "fuck you" money, he has that attitude and
focus to see this through. Plus you can't be successful like he has without surrounding yourself with people that have the same goals and passions as you do.

Kevin Smith made a move called Red State. It's something that he's been wanting to do for a long time (according to him), a horror movie instead of another comedy romp. With a shoestring budget and a lot of help from people that cut their pay, didn't get paid or just wanted to make a good movie, pushed through and ended up having the time of his life.  Now, instead of dealing with the typical hollywood studio deal, he's going on a tour to show his movie Red State, like musicians do, to recoup the cost of the movie and then
he's going to take the money he makes above and beyond the cost and distribute it himself afterwards to theaters in October so that a wider audience can go see it. This roadshow/tour is going to be
pricey (50-100 bucks), but value is perception and I bet Smith has some cool ideas, because it's not just
about watching the movie, it's the experience - people go to concerts for 2 hours and pay assloads of money to see their favorite artists, this is the exact same thing, but after the 2 hours is over, there will be more for the audience than just a darkened theater with the lights coming up and everyone exiting to move on with their lives.   Again, value for your dollar, plus it's like going to a concert, don't bitch about it, go experience it.

It's a shame that Smith was so put off by the failure of Zak and Miri (and Cop OUt) that he became jaded with making movies.  He lost his way and really, this movie Red State was a chance for him to go back to what he likes, telling stories and just make something for the pure fun of doing it. Now, I'm really new to all this hollywood stuff, I've wanted to write movies and tv shows for years and all I've seen and read about the process is that it's to difficult to get in, there are so many doors to break through, it's a one in a million chance etc etc etc and What Kevin Smith is doing with this "experiment" - for lack of a better term, is saying that the system is old and broken and it's time for the new hotness, that there are people out there that want to tell stories and get their pictures made and now this is a chance for them to be able to do that.  When this becomes successful, it will open up the entertainment world, which is what should have happened a long time ago.  Better late than never...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Kevin Smith Is Right

Fixing the Kevin Smith bloggy thingy - it's too rambly needs more points and less distraction.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Iron Giant

Brad Bird is one the great director's of our time, has worked on a lot of shows and movies The Simpsons. The Critic, King Of The Hill, Disney's Fox and Hound, Animalympics and of course The Incredibles, but one of his greatest movies is The Iron Giant.

Brad Bird get's the concept of creating compelling characters and bringing them to life, giving them meaning and function.  How the hell does one give emotion and character to an animated piece of iron?  I don't exactly know how Brad is able to do this, but he does.  It mostly comes from working for Disney, The Simpsons and a few other animation houses and it takes a long time to learn how to animate and write these things.  But Brad does it like noone else can do it, he has that innate ability to tell a good story.

The Iron Giant is simply astounding, good pacing, good emotion, good story writing - all the things that make for a good movie which didn't do well at the box office, considering that (from Wikipedia) "
The year 1999 in film involved several noteworthy events and has been called "The Year That Changed Movies."[1] Several significant feature films, including Stanley Kubrick's final film Eyes Wide Shut, Pedro Almodóvar's first Oscar-winning film All About My Mother, science fiction blockbuster and cultural phenomenon The Matrix, Deep Canvas-pioneering Tarzan, Best Picture-winner American Beauty, critically acclaimed animated gem The Iron Giant, Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman's breakout film Being John Malkovich, M. Night Shyamalan's breakout hit The Sixth Sense, the controversial Fight Club, and the highly anticipated first installment of George Lucas' Star Wars prequel trilogy were released this year."

Stiff competition for an animated movie - though it should have done much better at the box office and was overlooked.  Had this movie been released a year earlier or a year later, I think the outcome would have been completely different, especially if it were released in 2000.  I mean hell, 1999 had the release of not only Star Wars Episode 1, but Toy Story 2, The Sixth Sense, Austin Powers, Eyes Wide Shut, American Beauty, The Matrix, The Mummy and The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow just to name a few (the complete list is below).  That's a lot of blockbuster's.

Brad Bird is an incredible (no pun intended) director and I don't think he get's enough recognition for his ability to tell a story.  If you have the chance to see this movie, great for all ages, take that chance and enjoy.

Oh and Vin Diesel played the Iron Giant.

On my scale of A to F this movie gets an A - Highly Recommended and a must see.

Some of Brad Bird's movies

1906 (in production)
 
2007 Ratatouille
 
2005 Jack-Jack Attack (video short)
 
1990-1991 The Simpsons (TV series)
– Krusty Gets Busted (1990)
 
1987 Amazing Stories (TV series)
– Family Dog (1987)

Also - ALL the movies released in 1999 - 
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z